Mother of 7 with 5 baby daddies can't understand why her family is in chaos, gets angry when brother says her family is a circus: 'She expects an apology from me before we can speak again'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 16, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Some people are thrust into chaotic situations by the hand of God. They've done nothing to bring anything crazy upon themselves, but the craziness just comes out of nowhere and attacks. While that may be the case for some, we all know somebody who brings chaos upon themselves. There are definitely people in my life who never sleep, take terrible care of themselves, put themselves into dangerous situations instead of avoiding them, and still can't understand why they feel horrible all the time. There's a certain intersection of not taking responsibility for yourself and being totally clueless that can only breed unmitigated chaos.

That intersection is where this 36-year-old mother finds herself. Since she was 18, she's been having kids and building a giant blended family. Although she's married now, her kids collectively have 5 fathers, and she can't for the life of her understand why her family is utterly chaotic.

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    AITA for telling my sister she doesn't have a family, she has a circus?
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    The other day my sister (36f) was complaining to me that her family is chaos and she doesn't understand why everyone can't get along and why they never have a truly good moment while everyone together. I listened to her for around 20 minutes and she told me I was being quiet.
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    My response was that she clearly needed to vent and I didn't want to interject. That was mostly true but I also think my sister is a little insane for thinking she'd get to have a nice neat little family given the craziness in her family.
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    For context: My sister had her first child at 18, my nephew Shane (18m). She dated Shane's dad for a while and found out when Shane was 1 that her boyfriend had another girl pregnant and so they broke up. My sister and the other mother both got arrested for fighting. And she swore she would never let that woman or her child near Shane. She got married at 21 and had two
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    more kids Kadie (15f) and Rye (13m). She filed for divorce straight after Rye was born and her ex- husband is nowhere in sight since. A year later she met another man, who had a baby with someone. My niece Lily (12f) is not my sister's bio child but she raises her as her own (though unofficially since she's not adopted). Kadie got married again had Milo (9m) with that husband and got pregnant with Sage (7f) while married but her ex-husband is not the father. Her youngest bio (so far) is Nile (5m
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    My sister is married again. Her husband has two kids from his first marriage and two kids from his second marriage. He also has a child in his life who is not his biological kid. Doesn't get along with his biological kids. But he treats this child like his own.
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    The household has many complicated relationships and divided loyalties. There are complications with some of the other parents involved and other children involved. It's too long and complicated to get involved in. But even among my sisters children, they are not all cohesive close siblings and some resentments exist for one reason or another.
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    Anyway, Lily was venting to me. She said nobody she knows has a family so incapable of getting together as hers. She asked me why I thought that was and I said very blended families are more complex. She told me there are people with bigger blended families than hers. I told her bigger doesn't always mean having as many others involved as hers. Then she said again they're all a family though and they act like they don't want to be and that's when I said probably because it's more of a circus tha
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    My sister told me that was really unkind and untrue, that they are a family, even if others can't see it. She told me she expects an apology from me before we can speak again. AITA?
    via u/Classic_Barber8939
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    No_Construction_1096 · 7 hr. ago NTA - Dear god, I had less trouble following geneology of Elden Ring characters than your sisters lineage. I am giving you the NTA verdict because, although your comment could be understood as , her life is obviously about perpertuating same mistakes and having same outcome at the cost of kids happiness in the end. I know someone who did that to his kids and their kids can't get along because they made a circus out of their lives.
    via u/No_Construction_1096
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    MaxTheCookie · 6 hr. ago I think I need a family tree since it sounds like has has 3 or 4 different fathers for her kids and then a few steps as well
    via u/MaxTheCookie
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    BusinessBear 53 · 6 hr. ago Family tree? The woman's got more of a family bush. So many men have gone in and out of her life while leaving some kids behind.
    via u/BusinessBear53
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    Latter-Assignment-53 · 6 hr. ago I mean... Your sister pushed for the comment! Was it slightly ? Yes! Would any house with that many kids probably look like a circus anyways? Maybe Do the multiple parents / marriages / half-siblings / totally non blood related kids add into "oh why can't we be normal" party? Is she delusional?
    via u/Latter-Assignment-53
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    Either she is living in "my little pony" world or I don't know, but let's begin with making better partner choices and birth control Oh also NTA obvious
    via u/Latter-Assignment-53
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    Good-Statement-9658 6 hr. ago Can confirm. 4 kids who love each other and get along amazingly 99.9% of the time. It's still chaotic at times
    via u/Good-Statement-9658
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    paul_rudds_drag_race 6 hr. ago NTA you mean to tell me that a revolving door of baby daddies doesn't make for a stable family dynamic? I think she needs a different hobby.
    via u/paul_rudds_drag_race
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    eyes_like_thunder - 5 hr. ago She literally bred her own drama
    via u/eyes_like_thunder
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    Individual_Ad_9213 - 7 hr. ago NTA. She pressed you to explain yourself and you told her what you were thinking. In these sorts of conversations, you can't expect people to chose their words carefully; they just say what comes to mind. If she didn't want to know, she shouldn't have asked.
    via u/Individual_Ad_9213
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    Forward_Nothing5979. 6 hr. ago NTA It does really sound like op's sister just put op on the spot. Op tried to be polite while being honest. Sister pressed until a panic blunt answer came.
    via u/Forward_Nothing5979
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    That's a purely human thing everyone does when backed into a corner. It was honest. That family lines from the sister needs bullet points in color codes to track. Sister is part of and does have a family. But yikes it is tough to follow.
    via u/Forward_Nothing5979
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    NinjaDefenestrator · 7 hr. ago More stepparents should listen to their siblings and/or relatives watching from the sidelines. They always have good advice in these stories, but somehow the stepparent never listens and takes offense at any logical suggestions. ΝΤΑ
    via u/NinjaDefenestrato

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Babies chaos family drama dads kid kids mother blended family siblings reddit story baby daddy dad little kids family sibling stepdad mom parents
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